THE EMOTIONAL TOLL OF ALZHEIMER’S
by Kathy Kahler

Disoriented, confused, and lost. “Where am I? Where am I going?”

May 13, 2005
I’ve noticed Danny writing down his daily chores. That’s unusual for him.

In 2005, Mary Kahler noticed her husband Danny becoming unusually different. Work tasks were getting harder for him. He seemed constantly exhausted, so she made an appointment to the Mayo Medical Clinic in Minnesota.
After several visitis to the doctor, Danny was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2007, at the age of 51.
A rapidly progressive form of Alzheimer’s begins in adults around the ages of 36 to 46, they were told. “The thought is horrifying to think about.”

February 22, 2007
I feel bad for Danny. He’s not capable of doing things he use to do. He requires the attention of a child.

Feelings of anger, confusion, and frustration interfere with ones ability to enjoy life and do daily normal things.
Danny could no longer do the work required by
Fairview Manor, because the maintance job was taking a toll on him.
Danny was relieved to be let go of work. “I think he will feel happier not having the responsibilities that were asked of him.” Mary confesses.

March 14, 2007
We’ve kept Danny on board at work as long as we can. How do I tell my husband he is getting laid off?

Alzheimer’s can change your family in many ways.
Danny and Mary made every decision together in the past, now all Mary can say is, “He’s not able to make any decisions.”

August 29, 2007
Last night Danny went to bed around 8:00 pm. While I was in the shower, my phone started beeping. Danny thought it was the alarm clock. He go up, put his clothes on, and made the bed. The look in his eyes when I tried to explain it was night time was heart breaking.

A diagnosis of Alzheimer’s is overwhelming, for both the patient and family. Danny became overwhelmed with Mary for using a five gallon bucket of his.

November 4, 2007
I was using a five gallon bucket that had Danny’s initials on it. He became overwhelmened. He did not like me using his stuff. He stated that it was his bucket. He is becoming more lost.

I have taken on the responsibilities of husband and wife.

March 15, 2008
Having the roles of husband and wife is exhausting. I balance the check book, pay bills, do the yard work, and do the repair work in our house.

Alzheimer’s patients can have moments of sanity. “Occassionally I catch a glimpse of the man Danny use to be.” He always loved to grind coffee and one day I came home and there he was, grinding coffee.

May 23, 2008
I love days like today. Danny seems like his old self. It’s as is he doesn’t have alzheimers.

Losing the ability to do things they’re used to doing themselves can reduce their self-esteem.
Danny loves to go to church. But for the last month, he has been sick every Sunday. Mary tells him it’s time for church, and he becomes physically ill. “I think the anxiety is attacking him.

Oct. 26, 2008
Life is becoming more than Danny can handle. He has always felt good about himself in church. I think being around people is hard for him.

I’d like to see Danny healed on this side of heaven, but it may be the other side before he’s healed, and I’m ok with that. I know God’s promises are true.”